Become Undeniable: Building High-Leverage Relationships with Toye Oremosu | EP171

What does it mean to become undeniable in your career and relationships? Toye Oremosu, CEO of SocialSalve, explores how early to mid-career professionals can move from overlooked to unforgettable by building high-leverage relationships.

Toye shares common mistakes people make when networking, the difference between transactional and transformative connections, and how professionals can cultivate relationships that truly accelerate their goals. He also reflects on a pivotal moment in his own journey when a single relationship opened a powerful door and offers one actionable step listeners can take immediately to become unforgettable in their own circles.

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/socialsalve/ 

“Become Undeniable” book: https://becometheundeniable.one/ 

Podcast: https://liveundeniably.com/ 

Let's Stay in Touch!

• LinkedIn (be sure to mention you heard the podcast ;-))
• Website - B.O.O.S.T.® Your Brilliance 

Transcript

Toye Oremosu 0:48

Becoming undeniable means shaping a professional presence so strong, so consistent and value-rich that people feel compelled to remember you, to recommend you, and to root for you.

Kelly Leonard 1:00

That was Toye Oremasu. Toye is a strategist, author, and podcaster. As CEO of Social Solve, he leads initiatives in publishing, marketing, and career development, empowering individuals to go from overlooked to unforgettable. In this podcast, Toye shares resources to optimize relationships. I'm Kelly Leonard, and this is the Boost Podcast.

Announcer 1:33

Welcome to the Boost Podcast, the podcast created to ignite your business and career potential. In each episode, host Kelly Leonard and her guests dive into one aspect of Kelly's Signature Boost framework, ensuring you get practical, actionable insights, tips, and takeaways to build your brand, optimize relationships, obtain more leads, secure thought leadership space, and tap into new markets. And now, here's Kelly Leonard.

Kelly Leonard 2:03

Hey Toye, welcome to the Boost Podcast.

Toye Oremosu 2:06

Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. It's great to be here.

Kelly Leonard 2:10

Excellent. And so for folks who are hearing your name for the very first time, tell them a bit more about yourself.

Toye Oremosu 2:16

Uh so I am a podcaster. I mean, for the for the sake of this podcast, I am a podcaster among many things. I run a business called Social Salve. It's a social health media company. I believe we're the first. I haven't found anyone that does that. We're multi-podcaster and learning network that helps people to grow their relationships and communities through storytelling, education, and technology. So we do podcasts, we do book publishing, and we also do apps that connect people.

Kelly Leonard 2:46

Awesome. And so you manage to leave out that you are an author. And so I want to dig into all things related to this new book. So let's start with the heart of your book. Um, you know, and so the title of it is very intriguing. And so, from your perspective, what does it even mean to become undeniable? And then how does that how does relationship building play a central role in that whole transformation?

Toye Oremosu 3:16

Excellent. Thank you for that question. So I would say becoming undeniable means shaping a professional presence so strong, so consistent and value-rich that people feel compelled to remember you, to recommend you, and to root for you. So it's really not about loud self-promotion, it's about showing up with clarity, contribution, and reliability in every interaction. And to the second part of the question where about relationship building playing a central role, I would say relationship building is the engine behind transformation. So skills, knowledge, and ambition, they move you forward. But relationships multiply all three. So when the right people know your work, understand your character, and trust your consistency, your opportunities expand exponentially. So becoming undeniable is less about proving yourself and more about being witnessed by the right relationships over time.

Kelly Leonard 4:15

Nice. I love that. I love that. So can you, because relationships feel really central to the whole premise of becoming undeniable, can you share a moment perhaps in your own journey when you know perhaps a single relationship opened a door or changed your trajectory?

Toye Oremosu 4:33

Yes. So when I finished college uh and was searching for my first real opportunity, um, a friend invited me to stop by his company during lunch. And in the middle of our conversation, he mentioned that he could introduce me to the marketing director of the company. And which was a huge connect if that were to happen. So uh he walked me over to the office, and what was meant to be a quick colour turned into a very meaningful conversation. And uh, because this friend of mine and I uh I'd been interested in that company for a while, so I'd been researching them. And so uh during the conversation with the marketing director, I shared some observations about the market climate and the shifts I believed were coming. Uh, the director was intrigued enough that he walked me straight into the CEO's office. And we just kept talking. We talked about strategy, about timing, about the moves the company could make to go get ahead of the curve. After I left, I sent them both a thank you message uh with five specific opportunities that I thought they could explore. Now, this, when I look back, was some uh I would say some uh young, ignorant hubris, you know. I mean, I'm talking to people who had been in business for years, and here was I, a relatively fresh graduate. But when I sent this to them, they the next day I got an offer letter. I started the following week as the chief of staff to the marketing director. Now, the most striking part was that many of the ideas that that I sent out, that I discussed, that they aligned exactly with internal initiatives the leadership team was already preparing to roll out. So that early alignment allowed me to work on national and multinational projects far beyond what most entry-level roles will touch. So the lessons from that season are still shaping how I build, lead, and think today. And all of it started because a friend opened a door that a traditional application process would never have. And that's the power of one relationship, you know, access, acceleration, and a chance to step into a trajectory that you can't manufacture alone.

Kelly Leonard 6:54

I love that. Now, when I'm also, I can only assume that the relationship that you had with the person, though, wasn't sort of an overnight. I'm imagining that over time it took time for the person to get to know, like, and trust you. So can you share a bit more about even what that process looked like in building the relationship with that person who opened the door essentially?

Toye Oremosu 7:21

So, yes, that's great. So this person and I, number one, we attended the same church, but secondly, we uh we had vol we volunteered around the same ideas. So we did a lot of training, uh, youth volunteerism. We did a lot, he was interested in uh, you know, um youth development and and mentoring. And I did a few uh trainings along those lines myself. And so our paths not only crossed not just at church, but uh in all of this different uh volunteerism that we were doing, and we talked a lot, and he at this point in time was in sales and because the sales function kind of like crossed with the uh the training function in this particular organization. They ran the company was an HR software company, right? And so he we'd been talking around this, yeah, having a lot of conversation around this. And so we built a relationship over a couple of years, uh, and we had different people that we respected that spoke highly of both of us to each other. So uh when he invited me over to lunch at the company, uh, I mean, at this point in time, I had been applying for a while, I'd got a lot of rejections, but I was also looking to provide a solution wherever I went. So I went with the mindset of I wasn't trying to get a job, but the mindset of I want to solve a problem for a business. And so because I had that, I think, you know, uh they say when uh the the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Kelly Leonard 9:13

Yes.

Toye Oremosu 9:13

Um, I think that's what happened in this situation where my friend was like, well, come uh, you know, come buy the office, let's let's go to the canteen together. I mean, it's one of those offices, like many offices, where you couldn't even access the building without a key card and stuff. So it wasn't like you could just walk in. So, like, okay, I'll take you off to the canteen, let's, let's have, let's have lunch. And I I'm sort of close to the marketing director, but let's see if we can just sneak by his office and see if we can connect there. So it was first of all the connection to this friend of mine, yes, and him taking a chance on me to be like, all right, I like what this guy is talking about when the conversations we've had. I think I think the marketing director will like to uh have a conversation. I mean, I'll I'll introduce him and see where it goes from there. It could just be a quick hello, or my friend visited, is visiting, and let's just say hello. Or, you know, uh it could go somewhere and fortunately went somewhere and it went further than we either of us thought it would go.

Kelly Leonard 10:16

Yeah, yeah. So, okay, so what I hear, I hear a number of lessons inside of that. So I hear what you shared was a great roadmap for folks who perhaps are wanting to support their network, their friends, um, their colleagues in a really meaningful way in terms of stewarding or shepherding relationships that might be of value to them. But what you didn't say that I'm assuming is you also were already showing up in meaningful ways in other environments where this friend knew that you weren't like you were about it, about it. Like, you know, so even I would imagine at church it was like, okay, yeah, we're volunteering, but I'm showing up on time. I'm doing what I said, I'm count onable, all of these things. And so, because people aren't gonna take a risk on us unless we they know confidently that we are risk worthy, if that's even a thing. Because of course, we put our own reputations on the line when we make those introductions, right?

Toye Oremosu 11:21

You know what was interesting? I ended up taking up a year later, I ended up taking up the role that he had in the company. I became the head of training.

Kelly Leonard 11:30

Wow.

Toye Oremosu 11:30

Which was interesting, uh how that trajectory went. But yes, it was um it was really good. Uh because, you know, back to your point, the the thing about showing up is that we he used to organize a number of events outside, you know, you know, the church and all of that. And I had been a speaker on a multiple, I'm I've been spoken at multiple of those events, and he knew what I was about. And and I would say also, like I said, I had good recommendations from people we both respected. Not they didn't recommend me for the job necessarily or to him, but you know, when people speak well of you, I I could tell from the networks, you know, uh, you know, somebody, a few people who were more senior in either in business or in church, in the church environment, who spoke well about us to each other. Like, okay, hmm, you know, so when uh he he gave me that opportunity, it was a huge opportunity, and I came guns blazing, I was ready.

Kelly Leonard 12:38

Wow, wow, awesome. And so now you focus uh a lot of your effort in helping early to mid-career professionals build high val high-leverage relationships. What from your um experience are some of the common mistakes that people make when they're trying to network or connect, and how can they shift their approach?

Toye Oremosu 12:59

So, you know, giving this some thought, and I would say uh in my observation, uh there are about three patterns that kind of show up, right? Um the first is people treating networking like they're collecting contacts instead of creating connection.

Kelly Leonard 13:16

Yes.

Toye Oremosu 13:16

So there's a there's a tendency to focus on volume rather than depth. And and over time I've learned that it's at least this has been my experience of what has worked for me and many people that I admire is that uh you need to be discerning about who you connect with and then drill down as much as possible rather than too wide. Uh a second thing would be many lead with their needs. Here's what I want. Instead of their value, here's how I think it can support you. And I cannot tell you how many times I've fallen into this pattern myself. And even recently I caught myself falling into it, and it's something you have to keep catching yourself. Uh, because you know, sometimes you think, oh, you're thinking about what you're doing, and you keep, you know, you're leading with what you need. The truth is that's not the best way. They always the best results always come with how can I support you? And the third one is people are waiting for the perfect moment, uh, which keeps them invisible. Opportunities rarely come from perfection, they come from presence. Are you there? You know? So the shift begins when you see every interaction as a micro moment to add clarity or value, to ask better questions, offer small wins, you know, and follow up without asking for anything. Because when you create emotional ease for others, and that's critical, emotional ease, you know, smoother conversations, clearer thinking, feeling sane, you become someone that they want in their world. Wow.

Kelly Leonard 14:55

I love it. Oh my gosh. So so being present. And I know so often we are in a space, but we're not actually in the space. And so it's being present. I love that term, emotional ease. Thank you for that. So for listeners who feel perhaps overlooked or maybe they're feeling stuck, what's one actionable step that they can take, like right now, today, to start becoming unforgettable in their particular circles that they're in?

Toye Oremosu 15:26

Good question. So I would say start with the smallest move that increases your visibility while deepening your value, right? So I'll say reach out to one person you respect and offer a thoughtful contribution, not a favor, not a request, a contribution, right? Share an insight, uh, a resource, um, a connection or a reflection on their work. Most people wait for big opportunities, like I said earlier. And in reality, career shifts uh move through consistency, just consistent, low pressure touch points that build familiarity and trust. And when I think back to the story I shared, and I think that's what I think helped my friend uh actually recommend me. It was just all this low pressure. I wasn't asking him for the opportunity, it was just all these low pressure touch points that build familiarity and trust. And so one message can restart, you know, the momentum. Uh, one micro-offer can open a relationship, uh, one signal of value uh can change how people see you. So becoming undeniable begins with taking responsibility for how you show up in one relationship today. So you don't need to go about trying to do many things. Like we said, depth is always, almost always better than volume.

Kelly Leonard 16:51

Love it. Thank you so much. And so, for anyone who's listening and wants to perhaps either tap into your brilliance or maybe even pick up your book, what's the best way for folks to stay in touch with your work?

Toye Oremosu 17:04

So, uh, one of the best ways to stay in touch with my work is to connect with me on LinkedIn. You can find me on LinkedIn Aditoye Oremosu. Uh that's A-D-E-T-O-Y-E-O-R-E-M-O-S-U. And you can find me uh on LinkedIn. Uh, and you can also find me on um uh find our podcast called Live Undeniably. You can find we're available on Spotify, on YouTube, uh, on Apple Podcasts, and you can find our book, uh Become Undeniable on Amazon. Uh, same uh it's by Aditoy or Toyo Remusu, as everybody calls me.

Kelly Leonard 17:43

So beautiful. Thank you so much for all that you do to support folks who are simply trying to navigate workplace, workplace dynamics, all that good stuff. I celebrate you. Thank you, my friend, for joining us today.

Toye Oremosu 17:57

Thank you for having me. I really appreciate that.

Announcer 18:03

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